Here’s a question: Can a child who lives in their father’s house with established ‘rules’ setup to benefit the whole family just go and do what they want to do, and still honor their flesh father? As long as the child ‘knows’ the rules, and does not go out and do anything against them, then they are under their father’s will, even living according to it, bringing their father and their family ‘honor’ and blessings. The result is true peace, a life which the father naturally wants the child to have. When they fail, repentance is necessary, and then trying to do better, for we all fall short.
     That good family situation is no different between our Heavenly Father and ‘us’, His children, of all races, tongues, and nations. God gave His Letter The Word to each one us, for each to study, so we would know, understand,… and do that which He knows is best for us. So why wouldn’t we want to follow His Ways that He outlined for us? When we do, it always brings blessings from Him, for we will be in His Will.

I John 5:14    And this is the confidence that we have in Him, that, if we ask any thing according to His will, He heareth us:
15    And if we know that He hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of Him.

     Notice above “according to His will, He heareth us”. Does that mean if we pray for a brand new car that God will give it to us? Well, we of course have to go out and work for it, but if it’s according to His Will, He hears us. Notice it still didn’t say we are going to get what we prayed for. It depends if it is according to His will for us or not. Then also, if we pray for something that He knows will harm us, or is not in His Will, loving us, He won’t do it. So how do we know what to pray for then? Studying His Word for ourselves will show each one of us. That’s why He sent His Word to us. God has setup His Ways during this flesh age time, which we cannot just steer around. That’s why when we don’t study His Word, not knowing what is best for us, we can go out and try to be something we are not, or that isn’t best for us, and it just will not work. We can cause ‘conflict’ in our lives which will bring misery upon ourselves. Is it God doing it, or of ourselves when that misery happens? Other than periods of temptation and testing by the evil one that all ‘in Christ’ must suffer at times, with most, we ourselves often bring misery on ourselves by not being in God’s Will.
God sent one of Satan’s “messengers” to buffet Paul, keeping him in line for his chosen Mission. Paul prayed to our Heavenly Father three times to remove it. God told Paul His ‘Grace’ for him was good enough. So there’s our example in praying for help in a matter (2 Corinthians 12:6-10). After petitioning God in the matter after three times, and we still run into a ‘wall’ with it, then it most likely is not according to God’s Will; at least not at that time. We need to thank Him for the Grace He has given us in Christ Jesus, and ‘press on’, trying to do the best we can.
So the other ‘side’, with one who leaves God out of their lives, and goes out to be what ‘they’ want to be and not caring about God’s Will; they break the ‘house rules’, and wind up dishonoring their family, while bringing turmoil upon themselves. And for one who claims to be Christian, our ‘family’ is the Body of Christ. The ‘key’ – study ‘all’ of God’s Word to know how to be in His Will, then He will add to us those things we need, and often, before we even ask. Paul taught in 1 Cor.10, going back to God’s People in the wilderness, how they were ‘under the cloud’ of God’s Glory then, but still many refused to be under His Will. Paul then said about all those events of the Old Testament:

1 Cor 10:11   Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come.
12    Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.

     Another level to this question of “Can I be what God wants me to be…”, i.e., being one of God’s servants vs. doing what we want to do with our own lives. There’s many examples in God’s Word where certain ones were ‘chosen’ for a specific Mission by our LORD; i.e. Moses, Jonah, Job, David, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, John the Baptist, Christ’s Apostles, etc.
     Paul in Acts 9 was one such example. Christ intervened ‘directly’ in Paul’s life, taking his ‘free-will’ choice to believe, or not to believe, away from him. Paul (named Saul then), was actually persecuting Christians at the time before Jesus struck him down on the road to Damascus (Acts 9). Our Lord said Paul was His ‘chosen vessel’ (Acts 9:15). Thus, Paul had a special Mission for Christ. Jonah was in the same situation, with being a chosen one, with a Mission for our Father. Neither Paul, nor Jonah, got out of performing that Mission. They had no choice in the matter.
     Some children may grow up later to fulfill some special Mission ‘in Christ’. It might not be on Paul or Jonah’s level or type, but none the less important to our Father. A chosen servant will bring ‘much more’ suffering on themselves by staying outside God’s Will for them, vs. one who is not chosen. They will not ‘get out of their duty’. God will bring calamities their way, until they get back in line. Our Father will naturally bring those to the forefront, making them easily recognizable. So they need to be properly ‘instructed’ about examples such as Paul, and Jonah. In the Book of Jonah, it’s revealed that Jonah tried to get out of doing what God told him to do. God commanded him to go preach to the pagan city Nineveh. Did Jonah fulfill it? There’s your example for a ‘chosen’ one. (see also Romans 9; 11; Jeremiah 1; all of the Book of Jonah).